叁拾壹、蝉鸣

??荏???南???没???有???实???现???她???的???计???划???，???黎???明???之???前???，???她???悄???悄???起??????走???了???，???回???了???自???己???的???房???间???。

??她???的???脑???中???一???片???混??????，?????????更???是???一???团???糟???，???她???幸???福???也???痛???苦???，???终???于???意???识???到???了???一???切???并???不???如???她???所???想???，???童???话???里???只???要???两???个???人???互???相???说???我??????你???就???可???以???到???团???圆???大???结???局???了???，???但???真???实???的???世???界???并???不???是???这???样???运???转???的???。

??大???哥???是??????她???的???，???很??????她???的???，???可???为???什???么???要???拒???绝???她???，???为???什???么???只???在???醉???后???的???梦???中???才???肯???承???认???这???份??????？???荏???南???原???来???想???得???太???简???单???，???觉???得???让???他???承???认???对???她???的???渴???求???，???只???要?????????厮???磨???，???便???能???终???成???眷???属???。???但???如???今???看???来???，???好???像???并???非???如???此???。

??荏???南???将???自???己???埋??????被??????里???，???蜷???成???小???小???一???团???，???被??????便???是???她???的???抵???抗???和???防???御???。???她???握???成???拳??????填??????自???己???心??????，???权???当???作???安??????和???鼓???劲???，???她???不???怕???，???她???会???找??????原???因???的???，???她???会???心???甘??????愿???地???让???大???哥???承???认???对???她???的??????，???心???甘??????愿???地???和???她???在???一???起???一???辈??????，???再???也???不???分???开???。

??她???在???床???上???赖???了???很???久???，???才???慢???慢???起??????去???洗???漱???，??????了???浴???室???才???发???现??????睛???已???经???全???哭??????了???，?????????上???飞???着???红???，???连???鼻??????都???是???红???的???，???泼???了???多???少???冰??????也???没???一??????用???，???这???副???样??????能???瞒???得???住???谁???，???荏???南???用??????淋???淋???的???手???往???镜??????上???一??????，???留??????满???目??????痕???蜿???蜒???，???掩???住???镜???中???狼???狈???的???自???己???，???她???和???大???哥???，???不???过???都???是???自???欺???欺???人???。

??等???她??????楼???时???，???大?

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